Season 5 Episode Guide

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“Italy Part 1” Episode #0001

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Philip Rosenthal

When Marie surprises the family with the news that she’s treating them all to a two-week vacation in Rome, everybody loves the idea — except Raymond. It’s virtually impossible not to enjoy oneself in a country as beautiful as Italy; but, if anyone can manage it, Raymond can. Not willing to let his sour mood spoil it for the rest of the family, Debra, Frank, Marie, Robert and the kids go on their merry way and soak up the atmosphere, sights, smells and tastes of the city of love and try their best to ignore Ray. Meanwhile, Robert meets the girl of his dreams — she’s stunningly beautiful, unbelievably sexyŠ and works in a gelato shop.

Aunt Colletta……………………….Silvana De Santis
Uncle Giorgio………………………Pierrino Mascarino
Stefania……………………………..Alex Meneses
Signore Fogagnolo……………….David Proval
Italian Man #1………………………Sergio Sivori
Italian Man #2………………………Vanni Bramati
Kid #1…………………………………Luca Francucci
Kid #2…………………………………Alessandro Francucci
Bocce Player……………………….Enzo Vitagliano

“Italy Part 2” Episode #0002

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Philip Rosenthal

When Marie surprises the family with the news that she’s treating them all to a two-week vacation in Rome, everybody loves the idea — except Raymond. It’s virtually impossible not to enjoy oneself in a country as beautiful as Italy; but, if anyone can manage it, Raymond can. Not willing to let his sour mood spoil it for the rest of the family, Debra, Frank, Marie, Robert and the kids go on their merry way and soak up the atmosphere, sights, smells and tastes of the city of love and try their best to ignore Ray. Meanwhile, Robert meets the girl of his dreams — she’s stunningly beautiful, unbelievably sexyŠ and works in a gelato shop.

Aunt Colletta……………………….Silvana De Santis
Uncle Giorgio………………………Pierrino Mascarino
Stefania……………………………..Alex Meneses
Signore Fogagnolo……………….David Proval
Italian Man #1………………………Sergio Sivori
Italian Man #2………………………Vanni Bramati
Kid #1…………………………………Luca Francucci
Kid #2…………………………………Alessandro Francucci
Bocce Player……………………….Enzo Vitagliano

“Wallpaper” Episode #0003

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Lew Schneider

Ray finally reaches the breaking point with his parents and kicks them out of his house. Ray and Debra lose their cool when Frank and Marie pull the ultimate unannounced visit to their home. Their untimely appearance sets off a series of events that becomes the “straw that broke the camel’s back” with respect to Ray’s relationship with his parents. Meanwhile, Debra tries her best to play peacemaker among the family members and to get Ray to reveal the true reason for his hostility towards his folks. But will his parents ever forgive him?

Ruth…………………………Patricia Belcher
Louise………………………Annie Abbott

“Meant to Be” Episode #0004

Directed by Michael Zinberg
Written by Jennifer Crittenden and Kathy Ann Stumpe

Robert finds himself in the most unlikely position of having to choose one of three women – girlfriend Amy, ex-wife Joanne or Italian bombshell Stefania – to share the future with him. Robert decides that “honesty is the best policy” when it comes to his relationship with Amy, so he foolishly tells her about his recent reunion with ex-wife Joanne. To make matters worse, when Amy runs to Debra for consolation, Debra mistakenly spills the beans about Robert’s recent tryst with Stefania. Suddenly, Robert is not in a position to decide which woman he wants. It’s a matter of which one, if any, is going to want him.

Amy…………………………………….Monica Horan
Joanne…………………………………Suzie Plakson
Suzy……………………………………Susan Varon
Signore Fogagnolo…………………David Proval

“Pet Cemetary” Episode #0005

Directed by Ken Levine
Written by Steve Skrovan

Ray inadvertently commits “petslaughter” on Ally’s hamster while Debra and the kids are away for the weekend. When Ray breaks the difficult news to Ally about “Pumpernickel’s” untimely demise, Debra insists that they give the beloved pet a proper burial — complete with eulogies — to help the youngster get through the grieving process. What Ray at first thought was an utterly ridiculous way to mourn the passing of a family pet, ends up being one of the most emotional experiences of his life.

“The Author” Episode #0006

Directed by Andy Ackerman
Written by Mike Royce

The competition for attention between Ray and Robert reaches an all-time high with the brothers ending up in a fight. Ray’s dreams of authoring a sports book get squashed when the publishing company takes a pass on it, just as Robert receives the good news that he is being promoted to lieutenant. The Barone family doesn’t quite know how to react to this most bizarre of situations in which Ray has failed at something while Robert has succeeded. But worst of all, Ray doesn’t know how — or if — he’s ever going to get past this.

“The Walk to the Door” Episode #0007

Directed by Asaad Kelada
Written by Tucker Cawley

Ray is mortified when he meets a girl whom he dated 25 years earlier and believes he treated with disrespect. Meeting Elizabeth again, Ray, wracked with guilt because he feels he didn’t behave properly on their high school date, is determined to apologize. However, when he finds out the real reason Elizabeth went out with him that night long ago, he regrets ever bringing up the past. Meanwhile, Debra demands that Ray give her an example of something he regrets, but incredibly he can’t come up with anything.

Elizabeth Garini………………………………Vicki Juditz
Nice Man……………………………………….Rudy Moreno
Elderly Man……………………………………Fred Ornstein
Scott……………………………………………Judson Crowder

“Fighting In-Laws” Episode #0008

Directed by Michael Zinberg
Written by Kathy Ann Stumpe

While celebrating Thanksgiving, Debra discovers that her seemingly contented parents are really not very happy with each other. When Ray accidentally overhears his in-laws going at it with each other, he relays the news to Debra… who has always believed her parents’ relationship to be a lot healthier than Frank and Marie’s. But, when things come to a head at the Thanksgiving table, it’s apparent that there really isn’t that much of a difference between the two older couples — much to Debra’s dismay.

Lois………………………………………….Katherine Helmond
Warren……………………………………..Robert Culp

“Young Girl” Episode #0009

Directed by Michael Zinberg
Written by Tom Caltabiano and Aaron Shure

All hell breaks loose when Robert starts dating a girl half his age. While Frank and Ray are fawning over Erica, Robert’s latest conquest, Marie and Debra are fuming over how ridiculous the whole situation makes Robert look. Marie can’t stand how silly Frank is being with his non-stop flirting and Debra is taking her frustrations out on Ray because, as much as she doesn’t want to admit it, she, unlike Erica, is not a youngster anymore.

Erica……………………………………….Tinsley Grimes

“The Sneeze” Episode #0010

Directed by Ken Levine
Written by Aaron Shure and Steve Skrovan

Ray fears that he is going to come down with something dreadful after someone sneezes on him. When Marie hears that Ray is under the weather, she doesn’t waste any time in coddling her younger son with homemade chicken soup, special treats and intense TLC. He laps up every second of it, much to Debra’s disgust. Sometimes when you’re sick, all you want is your mommy.

Andy………………………………….Andy Kindler
Gianni…………………………………Jon Manfrellotti

“Christmas Present” Episode #0011

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Kathy Ann Stumpe

Ray buys Debra an elaborate Christmas gift in the hopes that she will be so impressed, she will let him go on a weekend golf trip with his buddies. Ray believes he has the whole scenario worked out — give Debra a better gift than she is getting him — and soon he’ll be teeing off on a new course that he’s been dying to play. However, he doesn’t figure on the even more extravagant gift that Debra has purchased for him.

Andy………………………………….Andy Kindler
Gianni…………………………………Jon Manfrellotti

“What Good Are You?” Episode #0012

Directed by Ken Levine
Written by Jennifer Crittenden

Ray questions his manliness when everyone agrees that he’s useless in an emergency situation. When Debra starts choking on a piece of food, she turns to Ray for helpŠonly to discover that he can’t be counted on when it really matters. And, Debra’s not the only one who feels that way, much to Ray’s dismay. Not wanting to be considered a “softie,” Ray attempts to turn Debra’s opinion of him around by proving to her that he’s the best man for the job when the “chips are down.”

Andy………………………………….Andy Kindler
Gianni…………………………………Jon Manfrellotti
Nemo………………………………….Robert Ruth
Suzy………………………………….Susan Varon

“Ray’s Journal” Episode #0013

Directed by Kenneth Shapiro
Written by Jennifer Crittenden

Ray is mortified when he realizes that Marie used to read the personal journal he kept as a teenager. When Marie blurts out an embarrassing incident from Ray’s past, he can’t figure out how she could have possibly known that information. That is, until he discovers that she must have broken the secret code he used when writing in his journal. And in the process, his mother has learned about his most personal, and perverted, thoughts.

“SuperBowl” Episode #0014

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Ray Romano and Mike Royce

Ray’s exhilaration over being sent to cover the Super Bowl for his newspaper is overshadowed by the fact that he must choose who will accompany him to the game. When Ray arrives at the hotel and realizes that all of the other reporters have brought their wives along, he knows he has made a huge mistake in not bringing Debra with him. He attempts to rectify the situation by flying her in, but then realizes that in his desire to make things right, he is only succeeding in ruining what could have been the single greatest day in his life as a sports fan.

Gianni…………………………………………..Jon Manfrellotti
Mary Jo…………………………………………Marla Frees
Stu……………………………………………….Timothy Durkin
Doug……………………………………………..Edward James Gage
Lori……………………………………………….J.J. Boone
Hotel Clerk……………………………………..Amy Janon

 

“Fairies” Episode #0015

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Aaron Korsch

Ray is upset when he discovers that his twins, Michael and Geoffrey, are playing fairies in the school play. At first he defends the boys against Frank’s sarcastic comments about the situation. But when Ray later learns that the boys actually chose to play fairies, despite the fact they were offered other parts, his reaction reveals that he’s not all that different from his own father when it comes to being open-minded.

Sarah……………………………………Diana-Maria Riva
Father…………………………………..Michael Duddie
Josh……………………………………..Isaiah Griffen

“Silent Partner” Episode #0016

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Tucker Cawley

Debra is upset when she realizes during a Valentine’s Day dinner with Ray, that they no longer have anything to say to one another. Not willing to accept the fact that they have run out of topics of conversation, Debra suggests that they get involved in one another’s hobbies so they’ll have something in common. Debra agrees to watch a basketball game with Ray, while he promises to read a book she just finished — all in the name of love. However, Ray soon realizes that too much togetherness may not be the answer to their problem.

“Stefania Arrives” Episode #0017

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Tucker Cawley and Lew Schneider

Robert gets a surprise visit from Stefania, the woman with whom he fell head over heels in love when the Barones vacationed in Italy. Robert’s excitement over having his beloved, and stunningly gorgeous, Stefania so close quickly gives way to annoyance when he is witness to a few of her idiosyncrasies. After spending some quality time with the Italian beauty, sans gelato and gondolas, Robert has to rethink his feelings for her. Meanwhile, Stefania’s father, who has accompanied her to America, has his own change of heart with respect to his feelings for Robert.
Marco Fogagnolo……………………………………..David Proval
Stefania Fogagnolo…………………………………..Alex Meneses
Nemo………………………………………………………Robert Ruth
Suzy……………………………………………………….Susan Varon

“Humm Vac” Episode #0018

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Lew Schneider

Ray purchases a new state-of-the-art vacuum cleaner from an attractive door to door saleswoman and it ignites a housekeeping war between Marie and Debra. Debra is as taken with the new vacuum as Ray once she witnesses all of the wonderful things it can do. That is, until she learns why the saleswoman showed up at their door in the first place. Determined to prove to Marie that she’s is just as good at “keeping house,” Debra attempts to use the new vacuum to find some dirt, any dirt, in Marie’s home. Of course, the results are disastrous.

“Net Worth” Episode #0019

Directed by David Lee
Written by Jason Gelles and Mike Haukom

Debra becomes angry when Ray contributes $1,000 to his friends’ hair brained scheme to open a go-cart business without first consulting her. When Ray later retaliates by saying that the money is his to do with as he pleases, since he earns the paycheck, Debra is further infuriated. Later Ray discovers that Debra kept him in the dark regarding an old money transaction that she had with Marie. It seems that when it comes to consulting each other about financial matters, Ray and Debra are guilty of the same crime.

Scott……………………………………….Bob Odenkirk
Walter……………………………………..Brian Posehn

“Frank Paints the House” Episode #0020

Directed by David Lee
Written by Scott Buck

Frank offers to paint Ray and Debra’s house, but refuses to paint it the color they have chosen. Frank’s need to be “the boss” of every situation becomes too much for Ray to bear. So, he takes matters into his own hands and relieves Frank of his duties as house painter. Marie then reveals some information about Frank’s past that convinces Ray to reconcile with his dad and to allow him to finish the project.

“The Canister” Episode #0021

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by David Regal

Tempers flare when Marie accuses Debra of not returning a borrowed canister that holds sentimental value and Debra insists that she has already given it back. Debra is then horrified when she discovers that she does indeed still have the canister in her possession. With Ray and Robert’s reluctant assistance, she concocts an elaborate scheme to get rid of the evidence, rather than confess to Marie that she was wrong and her mother in law was right all along.

“Say Uncle” Episode #0022

Directed by Kenneth Shapiro
Written by Aaron Shure

When Ray realizes that his kids would rather spend time with their Uncle Robert than with him, he decides to do something about the situation. When Robert makes the observation that, as a parent, Ray finds it boring to be around his kids, Debra couldn’t agree more. She then suggests that Ray follow Robert’s example and to try to have more fun with his children. But, when her own parenting skills are called into question by Marie, Debra quickly changes her tune and rallies behind Ray, insisting that they are both very involved parents.

Lisa………………………………………Michelle Beauchamp
Colleen………………………………….Renee Faia

“Separation” Episode #0023

Directed by Asaad Kelada
Written by Philip Rosenthal

Although Debra has been aware that her parents have been having problems, she is devastated to learn that they are planning to separate after 40 years of marriage. Debra, who had always looked to her parents as a perfect example of what a solid marriage is like, now worries that if this can happen to them, how strong is her own marriage? Meanwhile, when Marie hears the news, she’s sympathetic, but also envious of Lois’ new freedom.

Lois…………………………………………….Katherine Helmond
Warren………………………………………..Robert Culp
Workman……………………………………..Tom McCleister

“Let’s Fix Robert” Episode #0024

Directed by Gary Halvorson
Written by Jennifer Crittenden and Mike Royce

Marie gathers Robert’s ex-girlfriends Amy and Stefania and his female police partner, Judy, together so they can dissect his character in an effort to help her better understand why her eldest son can’t commit to a relationship. Unfortunately, Robert unexpectedly drops in and is forced by his mother to listen to his character being assassinated by the women as they discuss his relationship hang-ups in detail and compare notes on his quirky dating behavior, inability to commit to one woman and his flawed personality.

Amy……………………………………………..Monica Horan
Stefania………………………………………..Alex Meneses
Marco……………………………………………David Proval
Judy……………………………………………..Sherri Shepherd

“Ally’s Birth” Episode #0025

Directed by Jerry Zaks
Written by Tucker Cawley

As Ray escorts Ally to a father-daughter dance, he realizes how grown up and independent his daughter has become. As a result, he begins to recall the day, nine years ago, when the Barone clan welcomed her into the family…but not without incident. In the flashback, expectant parents Ray and Debra are caught by surprise when Debra goes into labor in the back seat of Robert’s patrol car, forcing him to be called into action. Meanwhile, Ray and Debra plot to keep a pushy Marie away from the delivery room until after the baby is born, not an easy feat.

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